Helpful Tips from one Mama to another

   The Binky Fairy and her magic box


  The day finally came, the day I had been dreading for a while.  It was time to say goodbye to the Binky.  Wyatt was 2 and barely talking.  He used to only use it at bedtime and long drives in the car, but now it was becoming a constant.  Always in his mouth.  This wasn't an issue for me with Logan.  The first time I tried to give him a Binky, he spit it right back out at me.  I was relieved he didn't want it.  He never even sucked his thumb.  Wyatt on the other hand was a crier.  I was thrilled when he took that Binky and it calmed him.  He even slept better than Logan did.  But my little YY was'nt an infant anymore, and you could see the Binky was a problem.  I kept one in my purse, in the car, at my parents house, and had like 5 in my kitchen cupboard.  We were always terrified of loosing one.  So, broken heart and all I sat him down and tried to explain to him that it was time to start letting it go.  Yea, Ok he's 2, this did not go well.  I thought about it for a couple of days.  How can I make this easier on him?  I was taking away his security, his comfort, his...friend.  I had this little box so I put it in his room one night after he was asleep.  When he woke up the next morning, I said,"  Wyatt look!  What's this?"  He was intrigued.  I told him that it was a magic box from The Binky Fairy.  I said," Every morning when you wake up, you put your Binky in the box, and when you lay down for your nap we will get it back out."  "UH Uh" he said, meaning  NO WAY mom!  But I insisted.  Ok so he wined all morning, I knew this was to be expected.  I never saw a child so happy to take a nap.  When nap time was over I took the box off the shelf and opened it up.  He cried but I made him do it.  Feeling like the worst mother in the world, I listened to him wine all day.  I did this routine for a week, and after about the third day he was getting used to it.  When we went out I didn't take it with us.  Instead of it being my crutch just as much as it was his, I decided to take whatever tantrum was gonna come wherever it was gonna happen.  He did really well I have to say.
     The second week was a little tougher. On Monday morning when he woke up, I told him,"  Ok bud today we're gonna try something new, your getting to be such a big boy now without your Binky and mummy is so proud of you.  Let's put Binky in your magic box and I'll give it back to you at bedtime."  He looked confused.  He said,"Nap time."  "No, bedtime"  I replied. "You can do it, I know you can. Now let's go have some breakfast."  Not wanting to dwell on the situation I quickly moved on to something else.  Well nap time came and of coarse he balled.  He cried the whole time and didn't nap at all.  This went on for 3 days.  No naps, miserable all day and by bed time I just wanted to give in.  I wanted to shove that Binky in his mouth and pour myself a glass of wine and lock myself in the bathroom.  But then I tried to think about how he felt, how hard this must be for him.  At bedtime I took the box down off the shelf and gave him his best friend.  He crawled in bed with is Binky and his woobie and sighed.  He looked so sad, so tired, and so relieved at the same time.  I kissed him and told him,"I know this is hard for you buddy, but you're doing great and I am so proud of you.  I love you so much."  With tears in my eyes I said,"Goodnight."  and left the room.  Day 4 was completely different, just like the week before.  At nap time he didn't even ask.  He went right in and fell asleep no problem.  Maybe he was so exhausted from the lack of sleep, I don't know but he slept and slept well that day.  The rest of the week went well.  He was starting to get used to the routine of getting up and putting the Binky in the magic box and then he just go about his day.
Week number three.  This was the week I was dreading most.  When he woke up on Monday morning I said,"  Ok Wyatt it's time to put your Binky in the Binky box forever.  Your a big boy now and you don't need it anymore.  We will put it in the magic box and keep it on your shelf.  If you can sleep without it, at the end of the week The Binky Fairy will leave you a surprise."  He wasn't impressed but he put it in the box anyway and went about his business.  Bed time came, he cried of coarse but eventually fell asleep.  The whole week was like that.  He'd cry every night and I would try my best to reassure him, that I was proud and he was doing a great job.  But I knew I was breaking his little heart.  Tough love sucks!  And as mothers we have to do it more than anyone else.  The next Monday morning when Wyatt woke up I opened up the box and it was empty, The Binky Fairy had left him a note and $5.00.  I read him  the note, Thanking him for giving his Binky to her, how much she liked it and would keep it always, how proud she was of him, and how she wanted him to take his money and buy something for himself as a reward.  After breakfast I we took him to the store and let him pick out something.  He walked around the store with his new toy very proud that he was buying it himself.
     Occasionally he would mention his Binky but that faded away.  He started talking a lot more and we were surprised at how much he could say and how well he could say it.  He could talk, he just didn't much because of that Binky in his mouth all the time.  About a year later he was sitting on the recliner and he dropped a little figurine down in the cushion.  He reached his hand down to get it and he pulled out a Binky!  He stuck it right in his mouth and yelled,"Mama, BINKY!"  Shocked I said,"Where did you get that?"  He pointed to the cushion and I said,"Get that out of your mouth, your a big boy not a baby."  He pulled it out laughing and handed it to me.  It was nasty!  It had fuzz and dirt all over it.  Gross.  I thought I had gotten rid of all the Binky's but I guess this one got left behind.  Now when he sees a Binky he tells me those are for babies and that he's a big boy now.
     Those were the hardest 3 weeks of my life as a mom so far.  But I am sure it was a lot harder for Wyatt.